I remember / je me souviens
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For those limbic bursts of nostalgia, invented by Proust, miniaturized by Nicholson Baker, and freeze-dried by Joe Brainard in his I remember and by Georges Perec in his Je me souviens.

But there are no fractions, the world is an integer
Like us, and like us it can neither stand wholly apart nor disappear.
When one is young it seems like a very strange and safe place,
But now that I have changed it feels merely odd, cold
And full of interest.
          --John Ashbery, "A Wave"

Sometimes I sense that to put real confidence in my memory I have to get to the end of all rememberings. That seems to say that I forego remembering. And now that strikes me as an accurate description of what it is to have confidence in one's memory.
          --Stanley Cavell, The Claim of Reason


Wednesday, October 04, 2006
I remember watching Osnat and Duby's dachshund deliver her six puppies. I don't remember how my brother and I ended up in the back room of their apartment, standing back but still right over her nest box, trying both not to crowd her and to see everything. How were we summoned? Were we home that day or did it just so happen that she delivered after school, at a time we could be called? I had a sense of this being generous on their part--unnecessary and broadening and kind of them to allow me to witness the event. Yossi was friendly with Duby, and we were all very excited, but they didn't have to include me.

In memory, it seems so brief. I think she had already had one of them by the time I arrived. She was a beautiful red color, proud, wily, and affectionate with Osnat and Duby but not with us. I can't remembere her name. Pilush (peeLoosh)? The image I have of the births was that they blooped out like those water tube toys--long little cylinders of puppy, each in its own little sack. She licked each pup off and then got on with birthing the next. It looked easy, which now strikes me as completely amazing, but seemed ordinary, obvious, at the time. The first and the last, both girls, looked just like her, but the four in the middle (three boys, one girl) were black with tan edging, like their father. The eldest was very soon the biggest, noticeably stronger than the others. The youngest was my favorite. Once their eyes were open and they began moving around, I played with them nearly every day until, one by one, the puppies were sold or given away. When spring came, they were gone, and I went back to my normal life running the streets and playing house in the entrance to the Cardo with my beloved friend Miri Midlo.


posted by Rosasharn 8:25 PM
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